It's Christmas time...

Jami settled for a somewhat smaller tree than has been her custom of yore. On the plus side, she could carry it around tucked under her arm. And small though it be, its bounty was indeed, erm, bountiful. (And by the way, it's not actually snowing inside. I don't know what's up with my camera, though.)

Here you can see the fam. enjoying said bounty. (And that green thing is not the macabre-ly severed leg of the grinch, but in fact Frederick's stocking.)

Thomas, pleased by Grandpa and Margaret's Lego loot. (So were we - it kept him busy for hours.)

Thomas models his Granny-hat (and yes, he did pick out the colours himself). Jami can't take the Christmas spirit ANY MORE. That, and the fact that Thomas awoke at SIX THIRTY, full to the brim with yuletide cheer. Funny how that never happens on a school day.

The rest of the day was fairly low-key. We were spared the Christmas Dinner frenzy by the fact that we'd neglected to do the shopping until after 7 on the 24th, whereupon I discovered that everywhere (and I mean it - even Wal-Mart!) was closed. So we had a very nice Lasagna, with apple crumble to follow. And so to bed, with only the sounds of bleeping from the next room from Thomas's new Nintendo DS (and if you don't know what that is, you are so totally un-coral) to lull us to sleep.

Snowed In

Today we woke to find Flint buried under 8 inches of snow. We tried to dig our way out, but the snow just kept coming down. We then resigned ourselves to spending the day inside reading books, eating soup and the remains of granny's cookies (see below), and keeping the fire burning hot. Here Frederick relaxes in his beanbag chair while working his way through his extensive library. Note generous supply of flotsam and jetsam scattered across livingroom floor--that's what comes of having a Frederick contained in a house for too long.

Frederick interrupts Simon's (admittedly feeble) attempt to clean the kitchen for a quick review of large trucks, bulldozers, loaders, graders and the like.


Bryce and Thomas worked through the remainder of the day by playing some infernal game on that damn gamecube. What pair of morons bought Thomas that thing, anyway? Tonight's forecast calls for another 6-8 inches of snow (!) so the chances of everyone going to school tomorrow seem low. Sigh.

Granny visits

Granny visited for almost three weeks right after Thanksgiving. She immediately set to work in our kitchen, making bread, cakes and cookies every day. (Simon figures that as a family we ate over a stick of butter every day--scary.) And when she wasn't cooking, she was knitting. And here she is pictured doing both at the same time!


Here Jane attempts to teach me how to use my long ignored knitting machine. And in just three days I completed Thomas's newest sweater (green, dark red, light red, orange and yellow striped--he looks like a giant roll of lifesavers wearing it). It wasn't fun, but it was interesting. It was also extremely uncomfortable hunched over, straining with anxiety--a surefire recipe for upper back pain. Still, now I know how to use it and the world will be my knitted oyster.

Flint Handmade Craft Fair

On December 1st, The Lunch Studio hosted the first annual Flint City Homemade Craft Fair. I joined in when I thought it would be no big deal but was a bit anxious when the doors opened at 10 a.m. and there was a line of people crushing to get in. The crowd was amazing--particularly given that it was the only thing going on in downtown Flint on a Saturday. (And people from Flint know that that is no exaggeration--"nothing going on" really means NOTHING going on.) I covered for Stephanie Bills (of "Frankenstitch Monsta" fame) who has to work at the rival restaurant, Steady Eddy's (great pancakes, but sandwiches greasy). Here is a display of her works that Thomas has collected through the years. Payment for minding her table was that little wombatty thing front and center. I can't remember his name. [And for those that measure success in terms of cash intake, I did all right--taking in just over $400. I even cultivated a slightly scary fan who tracked me down to harangue me about Christmas stockings.]

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Simon and Frederick went to ForMar to walk off their Big Feast bloat.

Thanksgiving

The first snow of the year, on Thanksgiving day. Thomas relates that, as he lay in bed that morning, he mused that this year would be the first Thanksgiving day without snow. And lo and behold--it had snowed in the night! Here we are traipsing to grandma's house for the Big Feast. Thomas led the parade on the three wheeler with the vegetable torte, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce in the bike basket. I followed with beverages and Frederick followed, choosing to carry nothing. I had hoped to take several pictures of everyone but after this picture of Frederick, the batteries died. You'll just have to take my word for it that the food and company was excellent.

Biking To Grandma's

Last weekend Thomas's grandma relocated to a house about 300 yards from ours. Now that she is on our side of Court Street, a very busy and unsafe road, we gave Thomas permission to bike there as often as he wishes (and grandma can handle). Since then, Thomas has shuttled back and forth, delivering power tools, extension cords, blankets, inflatable mattresses and more while grandma unpacks and gets herself and (uncle) John settled in. And here's Thomas, heading down our driveway, to demonstrate just how quick and easy it is to bike to Grandma's house. [Note really cool three-wheeler that Thomas favors. Still not comfortable on a two-wheeler, Thomas unashamedly rides this every chance he gets.]

...and then...

After leaving our driveway, Thomas turns left and heads towards our neighbor, Family Video.

...and then...

Thomas cuts through the Family Video parking lot near the doors to avoid being run over by angry pickup truck drivers hell bent on renting XXX movies.

...and then...

Thomas nears the end of Family Video parking lot and heads towards Grandma's street.

...and then...

Thomas rides past four houses and is then in front of Grandma's house.

...and Here We Are

There it is, the white house with the small columns in front. Thomas pulls in the driveway and delivers the goods.

Proprioceptor Enhancement (Or: A Really Fun Time on the Trampoline)

Last year one of Frederick's play consultants recommended that we get a trampoline for Frederick so that his proprioception would improve. After almost 18 months of therapeutic lingo, I'm still not sure what proprioceptive sensation is (and how, exactly, it is distinct from vestibular sensation) but I do know that Frederick loves that trampoline! And I'm pretty sure that Simon is having a good time with him, here, too.

And We Never Saw Him Again

My Annoying Brother 2 - the sequel!

If you are not familiar with the original, or have forgotten what might be important facts, you should probably (re-)acquaint yourself with it. The same rules apply - everything here is fiction (thankfully - well, except maybe that hot tub), apart from the names... So, without further ado, I give you the second installment of Thomas's continuing epic.

My Annoying Brother 2
By Thomas Cushing

Prologue

Well, you thought Frederick stopped being naughty. Well, think again. Do you know what he spent that $100,000,000.22 on? Well, the $.22 on “The Horrible Prankster’s Guide” (yeah, that’s him) which is about as big as the unabridged dictionary and the rest of his money on this kit that goes with it, which is about as big as a classroom. Now, let me tell you how he used them.

Chapter 1
(EXTREME) Action Replay of Frederick

Well, as you know, Frederick is about as annoying as annoying gets and it gets even more extreme with his prank kit. For example, he might glue a silver dollar to the sidewalk or dig a ditch and cover it with sticks, then leaves, then put a nickel on it. But let’s get to the story. Well, I was walking toward my room to do my homework when I noticed a bucket on my door. “Great!” I thought. So I opened the door just a bit and then pulled my hand out of the way. The bucket fell. I expected to see water come barreling out, but instead I saw… “Oh my god! It’s paint!” I watched as our beautiful carpet was ruined.
Then my mom walked up the stairs. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“This” I said pointing to the bucket and the paint splotch.
“Well, Thomas, I wish I could punish him, but ever since he made that secret room, I haven’t been able to find him,” replied my mom.
“Yes, well, better get to my homework,” I said. So, my mom went back downstairs.
You’re probably wondering what Frederick’s secret room is, aren’t you? Well, as I said, that kit is as big as a classroom, so he has to put it in a place, secret. First, he put it in the yard. Then one day, it disappeared. The entrance is probably from his room.
Anyway, I went into my room to do homework. I finished my homework and went to bed with only one problem. My pillow suddenly grew metal legs, got up and walked away! I was too tired to chase it.

Chapter 2
Frederick’s Big Attack

I woke up and ate breakfast (corn flakes with milk that tasted a lot like beaten toothpaste with water) and left for school with a backpack that gave me an electric shock. ************************************************
I came home with a question to ask my mom. “Hi, Dad,” I called as I ran past him. He looked like he wanted to tell me something and looked depressed at the same time. “I wonder what’s going on?” I thought.
I just started climbing the stairs, when I slipped. “Ow! What’s a bar of wet soap doing on the stairs?” I cried, even though we all knew. I kept climbing the stairs to look where my mom usually was, in her bedroom. But, she wasn’t there.
Maybe Dad would know,” I thought. So I went back down the stairs, avoiding the soap. “Hey, Dad. Where’s Mom?” I asked.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Dad replied. “She sat in an electric chair.”
“SHE GOT KILLED?!” I yelled.
“No, no, she’s just in the hospital,” Dad replied.
“I hate Frederick!” I muttered as I climbed the stairs. “Someday I’m going to find that secret room and catch him and it will be someday soon!” I vowed.

Chapter 3
The Illusions

I woke up in the middle of the night. “Tonight is the night I will find the secret room!” I thought. I got out of bed and walked to my door. It was open. “I hope Frederick hasn’t been in here,” I thought.
Just then I heard two female voices from downstairs. I listened more closely to hear their names. “Bobina and Bobindee!?” I thought.
I crept downstairs and looked through a small arch window that divided the stairs and the living room. Two weird looking women were in the living room. They were holding glasses of whiskey and watching ABC News. Just then I heard myself saying, “Get out of our house!”
They looked startled for a second and then asked, “What makes you think that we are going to do that?”
Just then, Martha, one of our cats, jumped out of nowhere onto Bobindee. “Eeeek!” she screeched. Then something amazing happened. Bobina and Bobindee disappeared. Yes! That’s right, disappeared! D-I-S-A-P-P-E-A-R-E-D, disappeared! Disappeared, vanished into thin air. DISAPPEARED!!!!!!!!! All right, I think I’ve made my point now. Anyway, as I was saying, Bobina and Bobindee disappeared along with the whiskey and the TV turned off.
Before I could say anything, Frederick came trotting down the stairs. “What ah you doin’ heya?” he asked.
“I was just getting a drink of water. What are you doing down here?” I asked. I noticed that there was a small, strange gun-thingy clenched by his greasy hands.
Just then, Martha growled and jumped onto Frederick. “Oweey! You controw dat ca ah your!” Frederick cried.
I decided that now was a good chance to get into Frederick’s secret room since Frederick was in the bathroom getting a bandaid. So I climbed the stairs.
Just when I was about to enter Frederick’s room, a better idea popped into my head. Here it is. I could wait until Frederick goes to bed. Then I could go into his room without the danger of Frederick coming into his room and catching me. Then I could find his secret room.
So I walked into my room. Then I slipped on 10 tennis balls. So that’s why my door was open earlier.

Chapter 4
The Secret Room

I waited for about one hour. Then I got out of bed. I quietly opened my door and snuck across the hallway. Then I opened Frederick’s door. “Wow!” I thought.
Frederick’s room wasn’t quite the same. It was crammed with prank junk. But still, his room is smaller than the box.
The path that was carved into the prank equipment only lead to two places, Frederick’s big chair and his bed. “What’s so special about that chair?” I thought. Frederick never even sat in it. I still looked around for a secret entrance. No sign of one.
Just then I saw an antennae poking out from under Frederick’s pillow. I pulled it out to reveal some sort of control thingy. I pressed a button on it. There was a soft groaning as the big chair moved aside revealing a trap door! I opened it up and climbed down the ladder under it.
“Wow!” I thought. Along with lots of prank stuff, Frederick’s secret room had a Bounce House, merry-go-round, massage chair by a desk and even a hot tub! “Isn’t Frederick too young for that?” I thought.
Anyway, I looked on the desk. I saw the small gun thingy. It was labeled ‘Illusion Gun’.
“So, that explains Bobina and Bobindee,” I breathed. “Well, I’d better leave. We know where his secret room is,” I thought. I picked up the remote control, left the secret room and went to bed.

Chapter 5
Winding It Up

I woke up the next day and told Dad about Frederick’s secret room. He went up there immediately and got Frederick grounded for three years.
Well, I guess this adventure wasn’t a complete failure. I mean, we got a hot tub and lots of stuff.
“Won’t Mom be happy when she gets home?” I thought.

Autumn Almanac

Yesterday, on the way home from Ann Arbor, Simon and Frederick stopped off Five Finger Lake. Fall, after taking so long to begin, is almost over.

Frederick Throws Really Big Rocks

Time to Head Home

Halloween

Here they are, modeling the constumes I made. Frederick's Thing 2 costume was easy to make--the hat I knitted looked really good on him but, not too surprisingly, he wouldn't keep it on for long. Making Thomas's C3PO costume, on the other hand, was HELL ON EARTH. Never again will I agree to anything so difficult. The pieces weren't difficult to create--they are pieces of cardboard spray painted gold, but cutting them to fit his body, linking them together and then making sure that he could move, see and not be in too much pain was just about impossible. The head piece was quite ingenious, if I say so myself, as I got two cardboard pieces wet, molded them to a mannequin head (which I just happened to have lying about, as one does), painted it with white glue so that it would dry shiny and stiff, and then, once it was dry, cut the eye and mouth holes to fit. The head was hinged to divide the front and back and I held the two pieces together with buttons (gold, of course) and bits of elastic. So, for all you who crave your own custom made android mask, now you know. But be warned, Thomas says that wearing them causes ear pain. Never mind that only five people guessed that Thomas was dressed as C3Po--one guy guessed a cyberman, another a tin man (?) and three thought he was R2D2 (!?!). In the bottom picture, Simon sports the scariest costume of all--the fully employed parent of two suffering from sleep deprivation for over four years. Everyone guessed his costume.

Zoo Day Today

It was a beautiful day today: sunny, clear and about 65 degrees so a perfect day to take Frederick to the zoo in East Lansing. (The last time Frederick and I had a "Mommy/Frederick Zoo Day" a journalist from the Lansing newspaper asked for my opinion on the zoo and my reasons for preferring Lansing zoo to the Detroit zoo. I wonder if my wisdom ever made it into print?)

Theoretical River Otters

Where are the damn river otters? Supposedly six live together in this amazing set up, complete with waterfall, a river and a bubbling pond. But they are never there...

It's Because of Us That They Have to Say That

Many, many months ago (it was mother's day in 2006) we all went to the Potter zoo to have a good time. Little did we know when we set out on that fateful day what horror loomed before us. Potter Zoo is quite old, and one of the reptile/bird/tamarin buildings dates back to the 1930s. Unlike modern cages, the spaces for the animals are small, gloomy and sterile (the plastic vinery isn't fooling anyone, human or otherwise). However, as an antiquity the building has a certain charm. To get in, you must go through two sets of swinging doors, each of which is with large wrought iron screens. I have no idea how we managed to all collide into one another as we were trying to get out of the building, but doign so managed to cause one of the iron insets to fall out of the door frame and fall onto Frederick. He went crashing to the ground, while the rest of us went sprawling out of the building. The frame, which weighed at least 40 pounds, hit Frederick on the head, shoulder and the back of his leg. Needless to say, he screamed his head off--and so did the rest of us. It didn't take long for frantic zookeepers to arrive, ready to escort us to the snackbar for comforting burgers and fries. Thomas, Simon and I ate well, but Frederick wasn't so easily bought off. They then offered him ANYTHING HE WANTED from the ZOOvenier store. He took a small stuffed wolf, but STILL wasn't happy. And then came the legal forms--pages and pages of documents, all requiring our signatures. Finally, we got out of there and got home to take naps. (The documents still followed us--for weeks we received forms in the mail asking us to swear that we wouldn't bring legal action against the zoo. We didn't--perhaps we should have for the stress caused from trying to free ourselves from the hassle of their forms?)

Seventeen months later, the wrought iron insets are gone and cheap aluminum screens have been put in their place and this sign warns all who enter this strange little building of the unseen dangers that lurk inside.

More Alarmist Signs

What past event inspired the zoo keepers to put up this sign? Not only was the tail not sharp, but the giraffes were only slightly warm. Frederick searches for danger but finds none.

Heading Home

Here is Frederick in the car, getting ready to head home. After almost two hours of constant running, he was completely exhausted--which was the point.

A Tale of Two Teeth (not really)

I didn't use the flash to take this as, when I did, Thomas's face became a featureless blur. Now he just looks strange. But if you look very closely and squint slightly you can just make out the gap between two teeth on the lower right side (his left). He was thrilled when the tooth popped out a few days ago. [And here is Thomas's amazing experience in his own words: "I was over at Bryce's and Stacy asked me and Bryce to pick up some muffin bags when I said, "Can I eat one?" and Stacy said, "Sure," so I did and I thought it was good but I felt something hard and I thought, "Did I get a prize?" but it was my tooth so I said, "I lost a tooth!" and Bryce said, "Really?" and I said, "Yea!!""] Even more exciting is the fact that two more of his teeth are about to fall out--but WHEN?!?

Thomas, Lego League President

At the start of the school year, Thomas decided to found and run The Lego League, an afterschool organization for kids whose parents work and can't pick them up right when school ends. We donated a few small lego kits to the cause and it was succesful right from the start. Thomas also created a L.L. Constitution which the kids must follow if they are to be members. (Though Thomas did insist that each student was given a warning and a second chance. I thought such leniency was a grave mistake and the organization would soon dissolved into anarchy but so far that hasn't happened.) I can't remember all the Amendments (there are four or five) but I do remember these: "No one can laugh at, ridicule or insult anyone's Lego creation." Another is "All Lego creations must be disassembled after 24 hours" but equally important, "No one can disassemble another kid's lego creation without asking first." To raise funds for the purchase of yet more kits, Thomas ran a bake sale. He designed these signs announcing the (then) upcoming event. I baked 4 dozen cupcakes for the sale and very much hoped not all would sell so I could eat one after picking him up after school. It was not to be. Not a crumb remained--what a bunch of greedy little crappers! But on the upside, Thomas netted over $30--enough to buy a rather good Mars Mission set to add to the Lego League's collection. What other political offices are in Thomas's future?

Popcorn Piggie

Frederick has worked hard to earn the title "Popcorn Piggie." Everyday he and Simon make a giant bowl of popcorn and then, once situated in his comfie beanbag chair, Frederick does his mouth stretching exercises, packing every larger fistfuls of popcorn into his maw. And don't even think about taking popcorn without asking. (Though if you do ask Frederick is more than willing to mash a few pieces into your mouth.) These pictures are about a week old; no one will be wearing shorts again for many months. After freakishly hot weather last weekend, with temperatures near 90 with 90% humidity, we now have drizzling rain with temperatures at around 50. I prefer the cold not only because Frederick's autumnal allergies will improve (or so we hope--the poor kid is already taking a cocktail of eight different medications intended to help him breathe and sleep (and during the night at the same time))--but also so we can get the fireplace ablaze and Simon can get back to making homemade bread. [Look at those pictures again--does that look like a child who is barely 4 years old?!? His shoes are as long as my hand and when I carry him, his toes bounce against my shins. How much bigger will he get? Only time will tell.]

Frederick Living the Good Life

Here Frederick is enjoying a relaxing evening stroll through ForMar. Frederick's life is pretty good these days. His speech therapist is doing wonders--he proudly (and loudly) said word phrases such as "big purple shoes" two lessons ago and polysyllabic words such as "pelican" and "octopus" this past week. Music therapy continues to go well, too. This past week Frederick and Mr. Mike took turns singing the words to a fish song (lots of gulping involved) and then jammed for about 20 minutes on bongos. And about a month ago we finally found a great OT to work with him. (We had to fire his previous OT and when I say "we" I mean "Simon." All Frederick did during the sessions was sob uncontrollably while she sighed and said, "He doesn't like me." I just don't think that was $75 an hour well spent.) During the most recent OT session Frederick worked on his fine motor skills, which are already pretty good, by playing with Tinker Toys. The plan is to work up to large muscle skills while biking and climbing and then (gasp!) riding horses! (Which, in the OT world, is called "hippotherapy." I was really excited by the thought of Frederick riding hippos but apparently that isn't going to happen.) As for school, well, let's just say that Frederick has decided that the fourth school we have enrolled him in, just like the other three, wasn't a good "fit." A year ago he was going to school 5 days a week, by April it was down to 2 days a week, in July he was going 1 day a week...now we don't even bother packing his backpack and Frederick is LOVING IT!! His days are his own, he is content and progressing at an astonishing rate. The only problem is that having him at home every day may just kill us.