Stump

This tree was dead before we bought the house and we've watched the stump rot to bits during the years we've lived here. At first progress was slow but the last two years, various fungi have made short work of this former colossus. This year, it is not much more than crumble so it's time to go. Last summer I was having fun on a hot day, burning up stick and stump bits and one of my neighbors (loathesome people who divide their days with arguments, garage sales that feature store bought items still in big boxes ("fell off a truck" sort of thing), and parties with loud annoying music) called the fire department on me. When they arrived I was told that IF they felt like it, they could fine me $700 for "illegal burning leaf matter within city limits". I never know how to handle those situations with authority figures: should I whine and wheedle and say, "Oh, please! I am SO SORRY! I had NO IDEA! Ohh, would you be so kind?..." Or go with: "Well, then, make your decision: either fine me or get the hell off my property. As Sarte so aptly argued, you have the freedom to do either, it's entirely on you, so get to it!" I refuse to say the first, and believe it unwise to say the second. So I stand there, peevish, waiting for them to shit or get off the pot. Last year, the fat red-faced storm trooper wannabe finally (after wrestling internally) to NOT fine me, but made it clear that he COULD HAVE, believed he SHOULD HAVE, and WOULD HAVE, if his friendly faced side kick hadn't been right behind him saying things like, "Well, nothing to see here, right?" So, given my history, I am hesitant to burn off bits of stump this year. So, instead, Simon and I have been chain sawing them up into smaller bits and bagging them up into lawn bags. Each week we have hauled down 5-8 bags. Now that we are near the end, it will be a hella haul on garbage day this week.

Carving this thing up has been a challenge since the chain saw sinks into the spongy matter and sort of stalls out and axes bounce off. (Simon lost a log splitting wedge in the mass a few days ago and we haven't quite figure out how to get it out yet.) So far, sawing a bit and then kicking it works the best--slow work, but sort of satisfying. Until it gets really boring. It's was a really, big tree, I now fully appreciate.