You're old (you're old...)
Groaning like a geezer
Yourself a-crackin' like an old has-been
Look at yourself, old man, you've got multiple chins
'Cause you're old
Mmm...
You're old (you're old...)
A wheezing, decrepit windbag
Where you once had muscle, you've got jelly rolls
Buddy, you're as ancient as the Dead Sea Scrolls
Man, you're old
Mm-hmm...
(You're old...)
You're old
--"Mid-Life Crustacean," from Sponge Bob Square Pants
Thomas happily sang this song as I was driving him home from school the other day. Perhaps once upon a time I would have laughed.
Fed up with back pain that has been getting steadily worse for so long I can't remember the last time I was painfree, I finally went to see my doctor. (A person can only put up with Simon demanding, with hands on hips, "So when are you going to see someone about this?" for so long.) She poked, pushed and squeezed ("Does that hurt? What about that? And that?" with my replies, "Not much...a little...yes, that does...Jesus CHRIST!!") She ordered x-rays and ultrasounds and sent me on my way to contemplate my fate. A week later the news came in the mail--no frightening lumps, tumors or cysts--yeah! However the x-rays DID reveal "lumbar arthritis." Grr...Old, a-crackin' like an old has-been.
4 comments:
Can they do something about that - despite the unthinking tactlessness of the young? I do hope so. Back pain is so wearing.
I've hit a milestone too - "on the tablets" for high blood pressure but then I am, awesomely, 65. You look pretty young to me.
xM
My heart bleeds. Years ago I gave up running because it risks me falling down in a faint (not to mention the acute nausea it produces). Also pot belly which doesn't go away whatever I do, mysterious pains, feeling of time running out.
But yes, I agree about back pain. Simon's mum has had it most of her life and I can't imagine how she managed with it. Also headaches, which I thank the good Lord I've never had. (They should take samples from me and sell them on the National Health.)
As for tablets, I've given up trying to remember which ones I'm supposed to take when. Fortunately Margaret is a good manager. Lord knows why she bothers, but I am very willing to take advantage.
You may have noticed. Jeremy does tend to go on.
xM
To add salt to the wound, I got another notice in the mail the day before yesterday from my doctor to the effect that the x-rays ALSO show that I have arthritis in my pelvis. What is the point of doling bad news out in dribs and drabs? I vacillate between feeling sorry for myself and feeling righteous determination to "beat this thing." It is in those moods that I toy with the idea of becoming that sort of food lunatic that will only eat food with a balanced yin and yang or only raw food so as to "balance" my system. But then I remember that I am inherently lazy and far too skeptical to pull off any of that with a straight face, and then I slip back into self-pity. If only I could be more self-delusional then everything would be great...
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