God, Bowl!!!!!

Thomas has always been known to have eccentric musings. Yesterday, while we were driving to Target, he became thoughtful for quite some time and then said, "Mommy, I think I figured out a way to find out if god really exists." He waited for the requisite acknowledgement and interest from me and, after getting it, continued. "First we need to make a giant bowling ball and ten giant-sized bowling pins. Then we make a giant sign that says, 'God, bowl!' Then we put everyone in the whole world into a deep sleep for four years. Then, when we wake up, we check to see if the bowling ball has been used to knock down the bowling pins. If it has, then we know that god exists. If it hasn't then we know that god doesn't exist." I praised the plan, in that way that good, supporting parents always praise the ideas of their off-spring and was just on the verge of probing his thoughts a bit (being a full-time philosopher I felt compelled to subject him to a bit of Socratic dialogue, in particular concerning the assumptions (1) that god would have an irresistible interest in bowling and (2) that the bowling equipment must be giant-sized). But Thomas interrupted me with his own concerns regarding his plan. "Mommy?" (Again he checked to make sure I was paying adequate attention. I was.) "Do you think Christians would knock down the pins to trick people into believing that god exists? (short pause) No, they wouldn't because they would believe that god exists and so would think the bowling pins would get knocked down." I praised that nifty bit of deduction but then suggested that some believers may prefer that most people didn't become believers because then they (the real believers) would no longer be god's favorites. Thomas objected that such a preference was not reasonable but then admitted that it fit with human behavior he has observed first hand during his as-of-yet short life. Brow furrowed, he said, "So they might try to destroy the bowling ball test. (muttering to himself) Then we'll have to keep it secret."

Here is Thomas's illustration of the test being constructed (with an explanation to follow because of the inadequacy of the condensed scan to capture its majesty):

[starting in upper right corner: First, we have the GOD, BOWL!!!!! sign. Then, moving to the left, we see a worker lying down with the speech bubble containing 'Zz...'indicating that he is asleep. Further along, we see a computer control panel, two workers sitting at a table enjoying their lunch, one worker with the speech bubble, "Now we'll show the world God is real!!!". In the upper left corner we have a worker near monstrous scaffolding, looking down at another worker falling to his doom (this poor chap has the speech bubble, "ahhhhhhh!"). Two workers below the falling person are resting, one has the "Zz..." speech bubble. One is left to imagine the horror that those two are about to experience. And of course, taking up the entirety of the middle of the picture are nine giant bowling pins, with broad striped curcumventing their middles.]