Film review: A Perfect Getaway (2009)

 

This is a perfect little B-movie (as you might infer from the generic title and poster), one that I'm shocked was even being made in 2009, and now would be a straight-to-Netflix production, if it wasn't an hour-long episode of a TV show.  But instead we get a surprisingly recognizable cast (Timothy Olyphant, Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, a pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth) and it got a cinema release, although I don't remember hearing about it.  One shouldn't give away too much, but the essentials are: Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich are newlyweds Cliff and Cydney 

(we know this because we see their wedding from their point of view at the beginning of the movie) who are embarking on a dream honeymoon in a part of Hawaii that you have to helicopter into and hike 11 miles to a secluded beach.  While driving from the town to the start of the trail, our couple stop to pick up a slightly skeezy looking pair (Hemsworth's Kale 

and girlfriend Cleo), try to back out of it, get talked back into it by the girl, who shows them their wedding photos, only for Kale to sulkily insist on turning them down because he was insulted by their initial refusal.  It seems then that they have made enemies, and when later they hear news on the trail about a couple who butchered another pair of newlyweds on another island and are supposed to have hopped islands to where they are, they start to worry.  They are also passed by Timothy Olyphant's Nick, who's favorite exclamation is "outstanding!" and who likes to tell tales of his exploits as an "American Jedi" in the Persian Gulf, which earned him a titanium plate in his head that also allows him to sneak his favorite ankle-sheathed hunting knife through customs.  

He takes a shine to Cliff who is a screenwriter and keeps suggesting titles for the film of his (Nick's) life.  He also introduces them to his girl, Gina, who is clearly devoted to him, referring to him as "a man in full" (especially when he brings back a bow-killed goat for her to butcher (which she cheerfully does, noting that she worked in the meat department of a Piggly Wiggly once)) and also that he's very hard to kill (foreshadowing much?)  Olyphant is great at being casually sinister and Nick has soon overtaken Kale as prime suspect in Cliff and Cydney's eyes... at least until they are woken up early one morning by police in a helicopter come to arrest Kale and Cleo, who are camped nearby, and who find a tin of "mints" in Kale's pack that turns out to be human teeth.  Case closed, right?  Well, they certainly get to the beach with no more trouble and cavort on the beach with fellow holidayers.  And then a kayaking trip to nearby caves is suggested...

A great film for afternoon viewing on a day when you've got nothing to do.  You won't be bored.  I do feel like they copped out a bit with the ending - the villains could've got away with it...  A rewatch would probably reward one with a lot of signposts to the ending.  Thinking back, Kale was right about one thing in particular...