Saturday, March 30, 2024

Film review: Timecrimes (2007)


Now this is how you do low-budget (only 4 actors required, and about 3 locations, one of which is in a generic wood) time travel science fiction right.  Although it has to be said that this movie caused a massive argument between me and Jami, so perhaps "right" is inapt.  But anyway, this passes the David Lewis (famous 20th century philosopher who wrote on Time Travel among other things) smell test.  It's also, unlike Primer, genuinely disturbing, both in content and implications.  Here is a synopsis (with spoilers, so skip if you're planning to watch it, and I do recommend it).  A middle-aged Spanish couple, a skinny, short-haired (this is very important) wife (Clara) and a dumpy, balding, hairy husband (Héctor, our "protagonist") are just moving in to a half-finished house in the country (polythene on the windows, unfurnished rooms).  She seems to be doing all the work while he, first, tries to nap, (while a radio plays loudly, including "Picture This" by Blondie), then gets a strange call consisting of heavy breathing, tries to call back only to get an answering machine that says it's a restricted number, then (after briefly making out with Clara) he sits outside in a deck chair (while she works on assembling a table) scanning the countryside with his binoculars.  


While so doing he spots something pink, then when he looks closer he sees a young woman with her face hidden by long hair who, as he watches, takes off her t-shirt (an unnecessary touch by the filmmakers, which definitely adds to the quease-factor later on - she is also young and gorgeous which actually works against a later plot point).  Having lost a bet that she will be able to get the assembled table into their bedroom upstairs (that table doesn't survive the movie intact), Clara goes off on some errand (that Héctor would have had to do had she succeeded) in her boxy little blue car.  Héctor, meanwhile, decides to investigate, whether for prurient reasons or just because it's weird is not clear, but the former certainly makes sense.  He comes across a discarded bicycle next to a knocked-over recycling bin in a country lane, next to a path leading up into the woods, which he takes.  Not far in, he comes across the young woman, now completely naked and apparently dead.  He approaches cautiously and sees she is breathing (and that her clothes are scattered in front of her) when suddenly he gets stabbed in the arm with a pair of scissors.  Shrieking in pain and terror, he runs off as fast as his beer gut will let him.  Looking back he sees that his assailant must have been the pink he saw earlier, because he is a man in a trenchcoat with pink bandages completely swathing his head, like a messier version of the Invisible Man.  He hides and keeps peeking at the strange figure, who terrifies him by jerking round and looking at him miming binoculars.  With another squeal he lumbers off again.  He encounters a fence with barbed wire on top, which he half-climbs, half knocks over and continues running until he comes to a house.  Nobody answers, so he breaks a window to enter.  He sees nothing of note except a calendar on the wall on which somebody has scrawled an S-shape with two xs in the open parts of the S.  


Exploring further, he finds first a first-aid kit that enables him to bandage the nasty stab wound, and then a lab in the basement.  There is a walkie-talkie on the table and he manages to contact a man and he tells him he is being chased (as they talk, a clap of thunder is heard).  After a pause in which he blocks the door to the lab, the man asks if the man chasing him has a bandaged head, and tells him that (a) he (the man) is in a turret-shaped building up the hill from the house, and (b) that he can see the bandaged man approaching on video monitors.  He advises Héctor to come to him where it is safe, as the bandaged man will find him in the house.  Héctor runs frantically up to the turret (up a lighted pathway - it is now night) where he finds that the man is young and bearded, and the turret appears to be a lab with a large circular piece of equipment with a lowerable dome above it at the center.  


A car (small and boxy) pulls up and suddenly the face of the bandaged man is at the window.  The young man tells Héctor that the only way to escape is to hide in the circular equipment, which is full of a milky liquid.  He will join Héctor but he has to control the dome.  Héctor reluctantly gets in and then is alarmed because the man shows no intention of joining him.  He tries to get out, but it is too late.  He is drowning in the liquid... 


and then the dome is immediately lifted... and it's daylight.  And the young man acts very surprised to see him.  Yes, you've guessed it, he has time-traveled, back to earlier in the day, just before the moments of the beginning of the film.  One thing the young man (who is played by the writer-director, what is it about time travel films that inspires megalomania?) tells him, once Héctor sees himself in his own garden through binoculars, is that he must not mess things up.  Of course, he immediately calls his own number, and we get to hear the other side of the original phone call, and when the earlier Héctor calls back, the young scientist is alerted and tears Héctor off a strip.  So, of course, Héctor immediately steals a car and drives off.  Driving down the hill from the compound, he passes a very familiar young woman riding a bicycle uphill.  He stops just after she has passed out of sight, and is clearly thinking of turning round when out of nowhere a big red truck rams him off the road.  The (little, boxy, white) car is wrapped around a tree and Héctor acquires a nasty gash on his forehead.  Woozily, he unwraps the bandage from his arm, which is still soaked in the milky-white liquid from the time machine, so that mixed with his blood it goes pink, and starts bandaging his head.  A thought seems to strike him about not being seen when there are two of him, and he bandages his entire head.  Yes, of course, he is the man who was chasing him earlier.  And suddenly, the young woman has appeared, full of concern, ready to help him.  


She even has a pair of scissors ("from cutting my neighbor's hair earlier" - they will be used again for hair-cutting later) that she uses to tidy up his bandages, and that he surreptitiously pockets.  There then follows the most unpleasant part of the movie, where "Héctor 2", now apparently (a bit late!) taking seriously the scientist's admonition not to disrupt anything, recreates everything he saw (which, of course, entails making the poor young woman strip at knifepoint, and eventually stripping her entirely after she has tripped and knocked herself out).  He even stabs himself with scissors and has to try three times before he can get his earlier self to see him turn round suddenly and mime binoculars.  Then, once his earlier self has fled, he collapses for a rest.  But then he hears the woman scream and races into the woods to find her gone.  Things are a bit fuzzy after that (for me) but he arrives at his own home just as night falls and realizes that she is inside.  He tries to track her down to explain but (naturally) she first throws a table downstairs at him and then hides in the bedroom.  He breaks down the door and chases her onto the roof (he can't really see her because it's dark) at which point she falls off the roof!  And he looks down - and it's Clara!  It must be Clara, she's got short hair.  Horrified, he slumps down in a fugue state... until a crack of thunder brings him to and he realizes he's got the walkie talkie in his pocket and can listen in on the conversation between Héctor 1 and the scientist, and can even tell the scientist to lure Héctor 1 to the turret when Héctor 1 is barring the basement door.  Suddenly, he is resolved, having just tried desparately to keep the past the same as it was, to change it, and save Clara!  And so he races up to the turret (in Clara's little blue car - another clue that the corpse is Clara) and startles Héctor 1 into the machine.  And now things start to get really interesting...  Will he be able to save Clara?  Can the past be changed?  Well, what would David Lewis say?

(If you never intend to watch the film you can get the whole story explained here.)

Friday, March 29, 2024

Film review: Primer (2004)

 


This is reputed to be a fiendishly complicated time-travel film.  "How complicated can it be?" we thought.  Well, too fucking complicated, that's how.  To the extent that we had to watch a 20+ minute YouTube explanation (Thanks, LondonCityGirl!) to have some semblance of an understanding of what we'd just seen.  The more I think about this movie (which, to be clear, is an amazing achievement given that it cost $7,000 to make) the more peevish I get.  It's a classic example of someone using superficial clever-cleverness to hide fundamental flaws (reminds me of several people I knew in grad school).  Here's the outline of the plot: two engineers accidentally invent a time machine (first peeve: the first evidence they have that they've invented a time machine is that a fungus called "aspergillus ticor" to be found inside secretes a protein at a massively faster rate (in hours what it should take months to do).  This does NOT prove that they can travel back in time, which is what they then proceed to do.  Anyway, the machine works like this: you turn it on at the time you want to return to.  Then, having turned it on, you go and hide away in a hotel room, because once you use it, another version of you will be popping out of there (in fact, that's another problem: as they turn it on, a version of them should pop out right in front of them).  But then, weirdly, you leave the hotel room and go to a library to see what stocks have massively improved over the course of the day.  Armed with this knowledge (and some canisters of oxygen, because apparently it's pretty nasty inside that very cramped time machine) you go back to the machine in the evening of the day you turned it on, and get in it.  It then takes exactly the time inside the machine to return to the point you turned it on (so it's best to take something so you sleep - also it's pretty uncomfortable, and it appears to have unpleasant side-effects, including making your handwriting look appalling), at which point you pop out and immediately go buy stocks.  So, if you think about it, there are three of you for the six hours between the 9 AM you turn it on and the 3 PM you enter it: the original hotel-room-then-library version, the version who has traveled back with the stock knowledge, and the version traveling backwards inside the machine.  But really (and this is something the movie gets completely wrong) there is only one of you, with a loop-the-loop personal timeline.  Later, when (inevitably) different "versions" of each of our protagonists (fair-haired Abe and dark-haired Aaron (who is also the writer, director and composer, and all-around megalomaniac, Shane Carruth) 


run into each other, it is actually different stages of the same person. Anyway, the enrichment plan works fine for a couple of days until things are complicated by a party in which a girl called Rachel (whom Abe has been wooing, largely because her father is a rich venture capitalist) is attacked by a shotgun-wielding ex, whom Aaron invited to the party, and Aaron intervenes.  But did he do enough?  Later on, while pursuing another plot point - punching a former boss who got rich off their ideas in the nose, the two encounter Rachel's father who has apparently managed to time-travel, presumably because Rachel's boyfriend comes back and finishes the job.  This prompts Abe to want to use his failsafe device, which he turned on 4 hours before the first turning-on of the original time machine, which means he can use it to return before the whole mess gets started and stop himself ever time traveling.  (But of course, really, we know he must fail, because when he set up the failsafe device, a version of him did NOT immediately pop out and stop him. (Another complaint: Aaron finds out about Abe's failsafe device and travels back to it and constructs another failsafe device at the same time.  But how?  Did he put another time machine inside the time machine?  Because he couldn't construct a new one instantaneously, which is what would be required to have a duplicate failsafe device that also turns on at 5 AM.  Also, given that Aaron used the original failsafe device, isn't he already in it when Abe comes to use it?)  But Abe and Aaron have already discovered (because of a cell phone plot point) that the past can be changed, so...)  Anyway, our two friends have a falling out, Abe is determined to do all he can to block any time travel, while Aaron (at least one version of him) travels off to some distant country where they speak French and is seen having a giant version of the time machine built...


Overall, a fun, if impossible (see also Looper and Back to the Future) conceit, that deserves a much higher budget remake so that we could actually see duplicates interact, and we might actually understand what the fuck is happening.  As it is, the film is like caviar or oysters - expensive and disgusting food that people convince themselves must be good because it's so hard to get.  (And why's it called "Primer"?  Your guess is as good as mine.)  I've got to stop thinking about it, because every time I do I think of a new problem.  I mean, don't get me started on the whole thing of the wife thinking there are rats in the attic when really it's her husband's double, who apparently can't make more noise than a rat, even though he's wrongfully imprisoned.  This movie is a first draft of a first draft.  It should have been the movie that you make for $7000 as a proof of concept so that a studio funds the big budget proper version.  That doesn't co-star the writer/director (although Abe can stay - he's pretty good).

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Dort Mall even more deserted than ever

Sadly, even the ship from Dr. Doolittle has gone...







Tuesday, March 26, 2024

You might think a gas station would be a bad place to buy Thai Food...

 ...but you'd be wrong!


...although they do have great difficulty getting our order right over the phone.  And apparently they don't distribute tips equitably!


Sunday, March 24, 2024

This HAS to be the last snow of the year...

Yesterday at Seven Lakes...






Today at the Hogbacks






Film review: The Hidden (1987)

A notch below such 80s classics like The Terminator, They Live and The Thing, the plot seems ripped off from Hal Clement's 50's sci fi novel Needle, and employs the notion of a symbiote which has come to Earth and which apparently loves driving fast cars and listening to bad 80s pop-punk.  This is not revealed immediately: the movie opens with a very-familiar looking actor 


(think: Twin Peaks, and I'm not talking about Kyle MacLachlan, who is one of the two leads) robbing a bank (brutally shooting everyone in his path) and roaring off in a Ferrari, with the cops in hot pursuit, blaring aforementioned now-very-corny-sounding music at top volume.  He is eventually forced to crash and then shot multiple times and burned up when the Ferrari explodes in the time-honored movie fashion.  However, he is apparently not dead yet, to the disgust of the detective who recount to his doctor all the mayhem he has perpetrated over the past week or so (this isn't his first bank, and he's also killed kids with knives), even if he looks like he'll never wake up.  However, he does, and he drags his fatally damaged body over to the bed next door, opens his mouth wide, and... cue disgusting alien symbiote!

And now Kyle MacLachlan makes his appearance, introducing himself to the lead LA detective (an actor I've never heard of who looks like a soap star) as FBI agent Lloyd Gallagher from Seattle (and this was before Twin Peaks!) who has been following the man.  Of course, the fact that the man is dead is supposed to close the case, but clearly this "FBI Agent" already knows that this is not some ordinary fugitive.  In fact, he has been following a series of men, each of which had no history of violence or criminality until very recently, and the first of whom (says Gallagher) killed his partner.  They then get word of another body, which we know about because we have already seen the current symbiote host (who looks about 60 and has convincingly alien starey eyes, but who is a sub-optimal host because he has advanced heart disease (he was in hospital for a reason)) stealing tapes and a boombox from a music store on Melrose and smashing the clerk's head in when he objected.  He then eats at a diner 


(playing his tapes loudly, to the annoyance of the other clientele) before ripping off another Ferrari (killing the car dealer, played by the guy who played Becker's boss in The Rockford Files, in the process).  He also makes off with the wallet of the guy who was about to buy the Ferrari, who turns out to be an arms dealer, which provides him with a nice arsenal.  However, he realizes he hasn't got long as the body keeps keeling over, and the symbiote pokes little tendrils out of his arm, forcing him to bandage himself with duct tape.  Then it's off to a strip club where he switches to one of the strippers.

Meanwhile, after clashing with the strangely alien (is that just because it's Kyle MacLachlan?) Gallagher, our Detective Tom Beck has warmed to him a little (despite his love for driving his sports car dangerously fast) and invites him home to meet his family.  Gallagher seems strangely drawn to Beck's young daughter, and they exchange inexplicable glances.  Gallagher also reveals that the fugitive also killed his wife and daughter (you'd think he'd lead with that) and that he comes from a town located [points upward] that Beck's wife interprets as meaning "up North," even though its name sounds very non-American.


Gallagher and Beck almost get the symbiote when they corner the stripper on the roof of a warehouse.  She's pumped full of holes and out of ammo, at which point Gallagher drops his gun and pulls out a strange item that looks like a melted lump of silver and points it at her, apparently waiting for the symbiote to emerge.  


But our stripper says "it's not over" and jumps off the building.  Then, before Gallagher can get to the corpse, the symbiote hops to the dog of the chief of police. Meanwhile, Beck does some digging around and finds out that Agent Lloyd Gallagher is dead, apparently killed by his partner Stone, who looks an awful lot like Kyle MacLachlan.  So he slaps Gallagher in jail, and gives his molten silver lump to the station nerd to examine.  Of course the symbiote hops to the Chief (sidenote, the way you can tell that someone is the symbiote is that it does a funny thing with its tongue, and somehow they even get the dog to do that) and the next day he's on his way to kill "Gallagher" when he hears the nerd set off the alien symbiote-killing-gun (which destroys walls, but has no effect on humans, which is why Gallagher had to wait for the symbiote to leave the stripper and couldn't just shoot her with it).  Anyway, the "Chief" gets the zapper, so now he can't be killed, right?  Except, he runs into Beck and gives away that he's not the Chief by saying "I shot you once, I'm looking forward to shooting you again," at which point Beck gets the zapper back (showing great presence of mind) and runs to spring Gallagher before the Chief can get to him.  


From then on it's non-stop carnage, involving just about every cop we've been introduced to so far, plus a Senator/Presidential candidate.  Oh, and throw in a flamethrower.  But, alas, the symbiote does get to shoot Beck again, and he's a goner, right?  But can "Gallagher" do something about it?  And what does Beck's daughter know?

Friday, March 22, 2024

Where was this in December?

 










Wednesday, March 20, 2024

"Pinnicle" Point

Damn cold again.




Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Fake fish?





Sunday, March 17, 2024

Frogs go back to bed


I think we're on our 4th or 5th false Spring at this point.

Frog chorus


 Sound up.

Friday, March 15, 2024

Fiery Flint