Film review: Porridge (1979)

Having just re-watched the series, a completist demands that we see the spinoff movie (so common for 70's British sitcoms) which I must have seen some time in the past, as I definitely recognized several scenes, and not just from reading the novelization (for some unknown reason) at some point in the indefinite past.  In general, it retains the charm of the series, and essentially all of the same cast - 'Orrible Ives, the illiterate "Bunny" Warren, Black Jock, et. al. (although I think the Prison Governor was new) with the addition of a new screw, there to be a toady for Mackay (the strict and pompous Scottish foil for Ronnie Barker's Fletch) and as a result, a punching bag for the lags.  I was surprised when re-watching the series to see how infrequently the sinister "Genial" Harry Grout 

(Peter Vaughn - I stood next to him in a pub in Santa Monica once, probably watching the cup final at some early hour of the morning), the real governor of Slade Prison, appears, given how large he loomed in my memory, but he plays a major role in the film.  A surprising percentage of these surprisingly large number of film versions of British sitcoms revolve around the cast going on holiday.  You'd think that's not really an option for a Prison film, unless...  And in fact the crux of this film is Fletch and Godber (played, of course, by Richard Beckinsale, who died suddenly of a heart attack between the completion of the film and its release, casting something of a pall over a light comedy) being dragged along on a prison break against their will (it's complicated) and having somehow to break back in to Slade Prison so that their sentences are not extended.  The film takes its sweet time getting there, though, which is fine, because you settle into the rhythms of Slade Prison like a warm bath.  Sideplots (besides a familiar one of Fletch being asked to read Bunny a letter from his missus and making up stuff about budgies with hemorrhoids and his wife having an affair) include a new young inmate being tutored by Fletch (including some lectures about how unsafe the bathrooms are that might not have made it to the TV version) and McKay trying to convert the fellow screws to the "joys" of his bleak new officer's club.  But eventually we find out that another new inmate, Oakes, wants out so that he can enjoy the fruits of his armed robbery and asks Grout to arrange it.  Grout then gets Fletch to suggest to the new screw the idea of a celebrity football team coming to play a Slade Prison eleven, and Fletch being put in charge of said team.  (Side plot of Godber sucking up to Fletch to get in the team, then becoming convinced it's not working and getting resentful of how Fletch has been exploiting him.)  Oakes is terrible, but has to be included in the team because of course, this is the escape plan.  Then, when the team arrives, thoroughly devoid of celebrities (not even the promised Michael Parkinson, David "Diddy" Hamilton, or even one of the Goodies) Oakes makes sure to get "injured" so he can be taken to the locker rooms where the bus driver (that 'Allo 'Allo! bloke) meets him and gives him his clothes and gets tied up in one of the stalls.  All is going to plan until Godber bangs his head on the goal post and has to be taken to the lockers, whereupon Fletch and Godber catch Oakes in the act, and despite Fletch's protestations (Godber is concussed and confused anyway) that they won't say anything, Oakes insists on taking them along.  Godber and Fletch are put in the luggage bay and the disguised Oakes drives the tour bus out of the gates.  (Why it would make sense for their bus to leave when the celebrity team are in the middle of a match is not clear, but never mind.)  He meets up with accomplices in a camper van in a nearby wood and Oakes is happy to celebrate with our heroes and tell them about his plan to head north to Dumfries, which the authorities will not suspect, before heading for the sunny Costa Del Crime.  However, Fletch laments that both he and Godber have less than a year on their sentences and no pile of money waiting to pay for things like plastic surgery, and eventually Fletch persuades Oakes to drop them off, in the middle of the chilly northern countryside.  Their adventures outside don't amount to much (stealing a bike from a vicar and apples from a barn, having to get past a farmer disguised as a boxer and his trainer - which doesn't fool the farmer one bit) and eventually they find the copse (swarming with cops) with the bus in it and sneak back in the luggage bay.  The apples provide the final payoff of the film when Mackay has made it clear that he doesn't believe that they were trapped by Oakes in the storeroom of his officer's club (forced to drink whisky to stay warm) and relates the strange reports he's heard in the village of stolen bike and apples.  Still, he admits he can't prove anything, and as he turns to leave their cell, Fletch and Godber each fishes out an apple and takes a big juicy bite.  Very satisfying, and in general, a fine coda to one of the classic British sitcoms of all time.