The Latest Drama

Just when we thought our lives couldn't get any more exciting, Simon confessed to feeling perpetually dizzy, woozy, exhausted and, oh yes, to getting nose bleeds once or even sometimes twice a day. When I asked how long this has been going on, he said he couldn't remember exactly but for a few weeks at least. Grandma's nursing experience comes in handy again (every family should have their own nurse) as she not only knows how to use a blood pressure cuff but actually owns one. His blood pressure was rather low, but not alarming, but his pulse rate was bizarrely low. Both my mom and the doctor today did make a point of saying that "some professional athletes have low pulse rates and that's perfectly healthy for them". When Simon insisted that this could be taken to mean that he doesn't have a problem I pointed out (very delicately, of course) that he isn't and has never been a professional athlete. So here he is wearing a heart monitor. It will record his heart activity (or lack thereof) for 24 hours. Simon is also supposed to keep a journal and record his feelings every hour. (Though comments such as "depressed" and "hopeless" were not, apparently, what the doctor wants to know about.) So far he has recorded: "woozy", "dizzy", "slightly woozy", "rather dizzy", and "a little woozy". Simon is annoyed at being forbidden to swim and is peevish at the nurse for shaving off a small patch of his chest hair for the tapes. He fears his pool buddies will mock him when he goes back to swimming. I reminded him that his pool buddies are all in their 90s and (1) they're likely to be very familiar with heart monitors and (2) they probably can't see their own chest hair let alone someone else's. That didn't cheer him up, though.